Gay-Christians.org

The Catholic Church was where I spent most of my time as a child. My parents would regularly visit the parish priest. We would be regularly be in the rectory, or the main chapel where my parents conduct business regarding their religious affiliations. I would be surrounded by large statues of saints and martyrs. I would smell the scent of burning candles or incense. The weird thing is that I always felt safe there. The church is a safe haven. People sitting in pews, looking up at the altar either thanking God for the blessings received or asking God for lack thereof. To me, the church is good and safe, it is my second home.

When I entered first grade, my mom sent me to a Catholic school. An alma mater to the rest of my siblings. Yes, we all went to the same school. Our last name is well-known in that school for I had nine siblings and I am the youngest. By the time I entered first grade, the rules have changed compared from when my siblings attended the school. Prior, lay people weren’t allowed to run the school, from the directress to the teachers, the school was mainly run by nuns and priests. This was no longer the case. Only the directress/director was required to be from the religious order that ran the school.

Even at first grade, I knew. Something was different - and since it is an all-boys school, I was excited. I’ve had playmates in my neighborhood at home but I had nothing in common with them. They liked basketball, sports, and rough wrestling matches. It is not like I didn’t like sports, I just wasn’t made to play it. Yet, to fit in, I played anyway. I just wanted to be left alone. And because of that, I always felt lonely.

To be continued…

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