Gay-Christians.org

I had a wonderful time over the holidays as I spent my Christmas with family in New York City. There were the festive meals and gift exchanges. My Christmas was too close to turning sour because I ended up sitting alone in my sister’s house while the rest of the family were over at my cousin’s house. Midnight struck and there I was, sipping a glass of wine by myself. I thought, “I could have stayed at home and done this by myself! I didn’t need to drive three hours, bring all kinds of goodies, a case of wine and expect to sit all by myself as I welcomed Christmas.” That’s what happened.

As I thought deeply about Christmas, I would say that we really have forgotten its meaning. The meaning of sharing, giving and family have been lost. Many families still keep this tradition. I just think my family had lost its way. Since my parents passed, reunions became more scarce and family gatherings became a thing of the past. I saw one blogger’s post on how they celebrated Christmas and I was terribly envious of them. The gifts that they raffled off weren’t even gifts that would make anyone rich but it was the spirit of Christmas that made their Christmas more joyous than the families (i.e. mine) who exchanged lavish gifts but lacked the spirit. Thinking further, Christmas really wasn’t about gifts. It’s about cheer! Make someone happy. Make everyone happy.

I knelt and prayed on Christmas Day and wondered if we will ever get that spirit back. I looked around and mulled over why we lost it. Have we all become insensitive? Do we really care enough for each other? As a family, is it enough just to have everyone gathered around the dinner table to enjoy each other’s company? I haven’t lost all hope yet. It has dimmed the pilot light I keep – just a little. I just hope this light will never go out.

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