Oct 04 2009
Broken Homes or Same-Sex Marriage?
I went to mass tonight. A friend was visiting me and at times he would come with me to church. I don’t normally ask as I don’t want to appear as if I am trying to make him go to church. I would rather have him ask me if he would like to join me (which he’s done in the past). I am more pleased when he does it out of his own accord than my asking him to come with me. So, off we went.
I noticed that in the past three or four weeks, my church has been soliciting signatures for a petition that would block the state’s (New Jersey) recognition of same-sex marriage. I never had a problem with the church saying that as I have known ever since that the Catholic Church condemns homosexuality. In fact, the past two weeks – I listened and watched as the priest asked the parishioners to sign the petition. I don’t have any objection to anyone who would like to sign the petition. I just won’t sign it.
As a gay man, I am not pro gay-marriage either. I don’t understand why it has to be defined as “marriage” when the state has already given gay couples the rights to a “civil union” which provides the same benefits to long-term same-sex couples as heterosexuals. So, what’s the big deal?
The state already recognizes civil unions for same-sex couples after a Supreme Court decision in 2006 left it up to the Legislature. The decision to reverse that law — or take it further — is still in the hands of Legislature, where lawmakers have introduced a bill that would allow gay couples to marry (S2898), and a measure (SCR-30) that would ask voters to amend the constitution to define marriage as a union between a man and woman.
However, tonight – I was a little irked by the fact that the priest continued to lobby parishioners to sign the petition during the homily while ignoring that the reading today included a conversation about “divorce” yet, the priest seemed to ignore that topic in his homily. Why would he put so much effort in the fact that the definition of marriage between a man and a woman is not and will never be equal to same-sex couples when there are so much problems with divorce among heterosexual couples?
Here’s the reading from the mass tonight:
And the Pharisees coming to him asked him: Is it lawful for a man to repudiate his wife? tempting him.
3 But he answering, said to them: What did Moses command you?
4 Who said: Moses permitted to write a bill of divorce, and to put repudiated her.
5 To whom Jesus answering, said: Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you that precept.
6 But from the beginning of the creation, God made them male and female.
7 For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother; and shall cleave to his wife.
8 And they two shall be in one flesh. Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.
Don’t you think that this is much more important the same-sex marriage? The family unit is not broken because there are gay couples. The family unit will not be affected by the fact that gays want to use the word “marriage” in their unions. Couldn’t he have focused on the fact that “staying married” is much more important than “same-sex marriage”?
He could have given the married couples in the parish some thoughts about how to keep their vows, what can couples do to keep the love between them or how can married couples resolve issues so that their marriage won’t end in divorce. That should have been his topic.
To fill the pages of the petition with meaningless signatures simply to block a move by the state to legalize same-sex marriage doesn’t mean anything to me. Keeping families together and avoiding more broken homes do.
I commend your posting and agree that there should at least have been a better way to include both topics. I did want to disagree with one point.
There is a big difference in benefits between a couple joined through civil union and one married, even more so federally. In regards to things like death benefits and so on, civil unions will have no benefits, but as we go on marriages will.
I ask you to please research this topic and the differences.
Sincerely,
Kymber
It’s a valid point you raise, my friend. I suspect that it is much easier to rail against other people than to take a good, hard look at oneself. I seem to recall a rather salient bit of scripture that talks about taking the plank out of one’s own eye before pointing out the speck in another’s.
This is a lesson I’ve had to learn the hard way as I tend to be a very judgemental person. With God’s help, I’m “in training” so as not to be. Wish me luck!
Seriously though, I’m wondering why so many people (especially our brothers and sisters in Christ) are so freaked out by homosexuality. It’s as if they’ve set it apart as THE sin of sins. They’ll be quarantining you next… because, well, you know, you lot are contagious and all. Didn’t you know that? By the way, sarcasm intended.
This is why I won’t sign any petitions that seek to legally infringe upon the liberties of homosexuals (or any other group for that matter). I’m sick of the stigma and downright hysteria that surrounds this non-issue. Sexual orientation should not be the subject of fear mongering or politics, and certainly not when it’s about someone’s quality of life. Nothing should impact on that.
I think I need to get off my soapbox now. Sorry about that. Yes, I sometimes get a little heated on this subject because it’s one that hits a bit too close to home for me. I’ve had people try to “police” my thoughts and actions in various ways throughout my life, and I see the same thing happening here.
You’ve been thought provoking as always. I look forward to your next post.
Yes my friend. Way too familiar about the “speck in one’s eye…” – I am guilty of that more often than not.
I believe that we need more people like you Tony. From what you’ve displayed here (with your witty comments and entertaining humor), you are a Christian not only by definition but by your actions. Christ did say, “They will know that you are my disciple if you love one another”. You have shown that, to which I am very grateful.
It’s good to know that people are starting to understand us. As I’ve written before, it was not a choice for me. I had to accept who I am and love me as I am.
Like yourself, I am still in training as well as “God is not done with me… yet”. I am very judgmental as well. I enjoy your comments so please don’t think for even a minute that you are taking space. You have thought-provoking responses which I like. It stimulates my thinking..
Thanks again Tony… next post coming up soon!
God Bless!
Helly Kymber. Many thanks for the visit.
I appreciate your comment – I admit that I am not well-versed on the differences regarding the benefits of civil unions and marriages but I will take the time to research. Thanks again and God bless!