Dec 13 2009
When you feel sad… feel bad…
I wasn’t feeling very good today. I am not sick or anything, I simply feel down and not in the mood for anything. The rain wasn’t helping either. It’s very rare for me to feel this way but when I do, it’s quite heavy. I can’t put my finger on it and I can’t even say that I am depressed for there is no reason to be.
I would guess that it is part of life. I recently attended a wedding, a friend just had a baby and another friend graduated from college. Could it be that I am trying to assess what I’ve done with my life? Is it because I think that I will never get married or have children? I don’t know what my subconscious is saying but I feel really sad.
I would normally be the person who people reach out to when they’re sad. They come to me because I am really a clown! You many not get it from the way I write in this blog, but I’m really a crazy person. Ha! Whoah! I feel better already. 
Anyway, I decided to blog hop because I was looking for some kind of an inspiration to lift me up. I found this video posted on one of the blogs that I normally visit and it brought a tear to my eyes. I hope that some day, when all is said and done – someone’s going to sing this song for me the way she did. And when she’s done, I would stand up and clap my hands until it hurts. It actually made me feel good.
I wish everyone had a great weekend – I apologize, I just had to let things out. I needed to vent. 
Rats… I need to get off dinosaur dial-up! I really want to hear that song!
I said it in an earlier comment, but I’ll say it again here because it’s relevant to your post. I have just been through a long bout of depression, and I’m not so sure that I’m completely out of the woods yet, but I’m here… and that’s a good thing. Why? Because I get to read your latest post and I can relate.
Don’t ever feel silly or ashamed whenever you feel down, my friend. Just know that it will pass, that all you have to do is acknowledge the feelings and know that God acknowledges them too. I used to feel so guilty for not putting on a plastic, happy face and spouting useless platitudes to lift away the heaviness. Not any more. This is how I am, and I’m just going to have to navigate this sea of depression somehow with God as my captain.
Believe me, I don’t choose to be unhappy, but sometimes I just am. It’s my hope that even though people usually don’t understand, that God at least will. It’s my hope that he’ll hold my hand through it all, and that he’ll be there with a huge bear hug at the end.
“All is lost but hope”. I heard that in a song once, and it’s so true.
Tony my friend!!!! Wow! I was wondering if the only reader of my blog got tired of me as well! LOL!
Welcome back. Yes, I had to go through the sad state.. I am okay now and I had a great Christmas! How about you?!
We will be welcoming the New Year in several hours and I do hope that my ducks are all in a row by the time midnight hits. I’m still house cleaning, throwing out old stuff and ringing in the New Year fresh and clean.
Positive thinking my friend.. thanks for coming back! Whew! LOL!
It’s good to be back.
I spent this Christmas wishing it was over already because everyone else seemed happy when I wasn’t. Funny thing is, in spite of myself, I found myself having a relatively good time anyway… so much so that I actually felt a pang of regret when Christmas was over. You’d think I’d learn, wouldn’t you? Sigh.
Still, all was well, despite what my feelings said, and New Years was spent quietly contemplating what might be in store for Cass and I in 2010. Some important decisions as to the direction of our lives, my friend, will need to be made. We’re not ready for whatever happens because we don’t know what will happen, but we do know that we want to be excited about life again. That’s the most positive thing she and I have felt in a long, long time.
Good luck with the house cleaning, and I’ll try not to leave it so long between visits from now on. Oh, and feel free to visit me at trottersville.com should you ever so desire. Your eyes are welcome there any time.
Hello Tony! Happy New Year!
Sure – I will visit your blog soon…. it has been a very busy New Year so far…
Whatever it is that you have to decide (life direction and hoping it’s a positive one), I will continue to pray for you and Cass during my feeble attempts at prayer.
I wish you the best and all good tidings for the New Year! Do visit often… as you are one reason I still continue to write in this blog.. haha!
Thanks again and God Bless!