Feb 08 2007
About the Author
Just like anyone out there who has struggled and overcome the conflict between your faith and sexuality, I am willing to share my journey to anyone who may be facing crossroads at this time.
Have faith – - all others shall follow.
Hi,
I just stumbled on your blog from blogcatalog.
I’m an ordinary guy who’s from middle east. I am christian evangelical.
I do not still consider myself to be gay. I have had dreams and fantasies about guys, but I consider them normal part of life, and I guess I will have to live with them, but not feed them with porn.
I have researched alot and talked to guys and chatted. Most of the guys that I have come across have been from east asia, mainly from phillipines.
I have asked them lately and I haven’t received any good response. Why is it that filipino guys are gay? I mean lots of them.
I hope i didn’t come very strong at you. In case I did, I apologize.
In Christ,
I’ll tell you my name afterwards
Hello Anonymous,
Thanks for visiting my blog. I appreciate your honesty and in fact, I was quite pleased to know that you are Christian as well.
I am unsure as to why there are lots of gay guys from the Philippines. I would probably attribute it to our family structure at least in my case.
It is the absent father that I believe contributed to my being gay since my father was always away on business and my mom was left to tend to us at home. But even then, I couldn’t prove my theory because I have lots of gay friends that are very close to their fathers.
Maybe it’s because our culture is tolerant of it? Maybe because they are considered part of our ‘fellowmen’? I am not certain.
In any case, please feel free to come back and comment and hopefully we can get readership here that would be able to offer input on your questions.
I, myself struggled with it for a long time but I knew right from when I can remember that I didn’t have any attraction for girls/women. It’s the nature/nurture question that remains.
I only know one thing for certain – God loves me for whatever sexual preference I have and that itself, remains constant.
God Bless!
I’m kinda confused after reading the few pages you have here on this blog.
Do you believe homosexuality is a sin? From what I’ve read here I’m under the impression that you’re okay with committing homosexual sins and calling yourself a Christian. I happen to believe that if you were truly a Christian that God would convict your heart that committing sin (of any type) is unacceptable.
Hi Nathan. Thanks for commenting on my posts. I don’t believe homosexuality to be a sin. True, committing any type of sin is unacceptable – like infidelity, adultery, murder, lying.. all these things are sins that I will not admonish.
Being who I am is not a sin and besides, I believe that God will not judge me for who I am but how much I loved my fellowmen. God will not judge you because you walk the way you walk or talk the way you talk. He will judge you based on the hurting words you said to others.
But thanks for your opinion, you are entitled to it.
Since my encounter with a lesbian, i am wandering here and there in net to know more abt gay, lesbian and bisexuals….Till today one thing i knew abt them is that they need different angle of view
The girl was Tanishq, a lesbian, from eastern society…
Life of them is too tuff in eastern society in comparision to western soceity..May be i wrong too..
May be the struggling of they in western and in eastern are different…I don’t know abt western but in eastern they need more support because in here they are treated as totally different and abnormal persons. I hope in future all humans will be treated as same…but for that information abt they should be scatterd in systematic manner.
I must salute to them..who are being gays n lesbians doing struggle in their life…..
http://ametya.wordpress.com/2008/01/11/my-encounter-with-a-lesbian/
Even after sharing some words , she went far away. After that encounter i haven’t seen her, nor she contacted me…I am searching the answer…why is she being far with me ? Do they(gay, lesbian, bisexuals) feel not safety after letting others to know abt them ?
I have a lot of questions related with gays, lesbians…I hope my searching will be stopped with you…Hoping right answers from you.
hello Ametya,
Sorry if it took me a while to read your comments. It was caught in my spam messages box.
Should you need to communicate with me – please feel free to comment again and I can send you a personal email.
Many thanks for visiting. You have very valid questions.
I too had many questions; 63 years of questions. Thanks be to God, last fall the questions were answered in acceptance of self. Email me and I will be happy to illustrate.
Hello Dwight. My apologies for not responding sooner. It has been a very hectic month to say the least. I would definitely love to hear your story. Please do send me your personal email. Thanks!
God bless our seeking hearts. the truth about homosexuality is not changed by how strong we argue or by the authenticities of our experiences. the unchanging hope and freedom that Jesus gives to the blind man by the river is available to all. His question echoes on all of us, ” Do you want to get well?”
Oh God, may you see us as we earnestly seek you.
I will pray for you as well Albert. Do not stop to seek. You will eventually find Him.
To Nathan with the question is homosexuality is a sin or not, I have a different approach speaking to man’s fallen nature. If you want to her more give me an email or look at my blog on “The Journey Continues Happily”.
Yours, in Christ,
Dwight
Dearest Gay Christians,
My name is Rev. John Forsythe of Texas. I am a Gay Christian minister who is devoted to help those with the struggles and hardships of acceptance and ability to find understanding. Throughout my research on the net I stumbled across your website.
I had to write to you and give you many kudos for the work and ministry you are doing in sharing your testimonies with others. Not everyone gets the chance to find the courage and strenght to do what you and I do. So again Thanks. If you ever need someone to talk to or just need some info feel free to email mail at any time. You can also catch me on my website: http://LITLministry.googlepages.com – I pray that you continue to have happiness and success and may you have all blessings you deserve.
Rev. John Forsythe
Love Is The Light Ministry
Thanks Reverend for the accolade and the visit. I try to share my experience with other people who may be struggling to accept their sexuality. I had the roughest time accepting myself and there were times that I felt I wasn’t worthy of anyone’s love and admiration. I had gotten over that through the help of one man – a religious one at that.
I commend you for your courage as well. We need to work very hard to help those who can’t find reconciliation within themselves.
Hello,
Not sure what your name is. I looked around here on your Blog and have yet to find it. So, instead of calling you “Dude” or something else along those lines, I will just call you sir!!
Anyway, I am enjoying reading your Blog. It was certainly refreshing to read. I don’t spend a whole lot of time reading blogs. This is primarily due to fact that I work allot of hours. The ones that I have stumbled on thus far tend to be a little bit more on drastic side than my tastes’ desire. If you know what I mean.
This blog, however, is very refreshing!!
As a 40 year old male, who has just accepted his sexuality, its nice to read (and see) others who have had the same struggles with their Faith and Sexuallity. It tells me that I am not alone!! That in its self is comforting!!
Peace to you all!
Brian
Hi Brian! (My favorite name of all!!!
)
Haha! Don’t call me dude bro! Haha!
I am glad that you had the chance to read the archives and I promise I will provide a personal update soon.
40 year old or 18 year old, it’s all the same. We experience the freedom from the stigma. We are who we are.
You are definitely not alone and I’m really glad you came to visit. Please share us your story sometime. I will be glad to publish it even if it has to be anonymous.
Peace and Love!
i am bi and i am a christian…
i am really struggling right now and just need someone to talk to who has gone through this
Hi Josh,
Welcome to my blog. We are all here to listen. Let me know if you need my personal email – I will be more than happy to communicate with you. Just remember, God loves you.
Peace,
Chris
Hi,
I just stumbled across this blog of yours. I haven’t started reading on anything yet but I’m sort of glad to find some place here that talks about this.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I’m gay but I don’t want to be gay. I think homosexuality is a sin, at least, that’s what I was raised to believe.
However, I’ve been wondering, why some people can confidently say they were born gay. And if it’s not natural, why then is it so hard to get over?
Thanks.
Hello glassedeyes. Sorry for replying very late. I am here to listen to what you have to say. I went through the same thing, I even went as far as practicing celibacy and entering a monastery just so that I don’t have to face what I was feeling.
I believed that homosexuality was a sin as well and it was a long process before I came to understand God’s plan for me and how He looks at me.
I would say that it is natural and you can never get over it. You can hide it, you can mask it but you will never be true to yourself.
Do stop by again sometime – and if you want, you may email me directly at rainbowreels@gmail.com
Cheers — keep your chin up!
God Bless!
Dear Gay Christian,
I read in one of your previous comments that you don’t think that committing acts of homosexuality are wrong. Don’t you realize that to have sex with a man is to fornicate? fornication which is considered a sin in the bible, is defined as voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other. To have sex with another man is to commit fornication, which is considered a sin in the bible. You are correct when you say God loves you no matter what, but this does not change the fact that the bible clearly states homosexuality is a sin. His loving you does not change the fact that to commit homosexual acts is to sin.
Hello Derek. Many thanks for the visit.
I agree with you that having sex outside of marriage (or commitment) is a sin. Since gay individuals cannot marry, they can have a committed relationship and any sexual activity outside of that commitment would be considered sinful. There are very many committed gay relationships that are monogamous and I don’t believe that being in that relationship is a sin and I also do not believe that it falls under “fornication”.
As individuals, gay or otherwise – we should be cognizant of the fact that there are still rules. Having one night stands and sexual activity without any form of commitment is not something that I advocate for gay or straight people.
My stance is that if you are in a committed monogamous relationship (marriage for straight people and CU or commitment for gay people as we have not been allowed to marry at all), you are not committing a sin. I am not God and I will not pretend to be the judge of that but to the best of my ability – a committed loving relationship between two people (regardless of sexual orientation) is blessed and should not be condemned. That’s all.
It is by marriage that a man comes together with his wife. It does not say it is OK for a man and a woman to be “committed” to one another, and if they are “committed” then it is ok for them to have sex. It is not ok for a man and a women who are engaged to have sex. They have not made a covenant to one another before God Almighty, (yet) and therefore cannot partake in the consecration of marriage which is sexual union. Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” This does not allow for a man to be united to another man. God did not ordain for a man to be united to another man. He deemed that a man and a woman be united as one. If God did want to allow a man to be united in marriage to another man, he would have said so, but He did not. He deemed that a man and a woman be united as one, not a man and a man.
In Leviticus 18:22 it says “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.” I know you would like to direct me to a clip on you-tube that is of a fake president taking on a fake Dr. Jacobs, which you have mentioned to several others and asked them to reply to you. I also note no one has come back to reply to your challenge on this.
First, if you claim to be a Christian, you should be using the bible to back up and make your claims, not a fake conversation that was scripted by someone who is clearly not a Christian. No where in the bible does it say that God no longer detests homosexuality. It says in multiple places, both old and new testament that it is an act that is detestable to the LORD. Verses such as Galatians 19:21 which uses the greek word porneia which is translated fornication, which again refers to people who are not married who engage in sexual acts. Being “committed” to one another is not excused as acceptable. It is fornication to have sex and not be married, and it is detestable to the LORD to lie with another man as with a woman, regardless of how committed you are to the other man with whom you are having sex with. I would also like to state that even if it is legal in your state to get married to another man, this does not constitute the act as being acceptable before God, because as God clearly states in the above Leviticus verse, He does not want you to lay down with another man as with a woman. (also, abortion is legal in this country, but that does not mean because it is acceptable to some men or by the law that we can disregard God’s laws)
Second, to use a fake television show to justify your desire to have sexual relations with another man is egregious because to claim that just because we no longer sell ourselves or family members into slavery, does not mean you can choose to ignore parts of the bible as you pick and choose. Just because our society does not allow for the practice of slavery, as their society did back then, does not change the fact that Homosexuality is detestable to the LORD. God did not allow his Holy people to touch the dead skin of a pig, because a pig was an unclean animal, and the Hebrews were to be a Holy people unto the LORD. I also believe he didn’t want them touching unclean things because they did not have the antiseptics (soap) that we have today to keep ourselves from getting sick by touching things that could carry disease. God commanded that we Sabbath for our good, not because he didn’t want us to be productive. I believe the reason he commanded his people to stone to death anyone who violated some of these commandments is because he set the Hebrew people aside as his chosen people, and he desired that they be Holy. Therefore, he did not want to allow anyone who chose to disregard God’s commands to be allowed to live and pollute his Holy People. if they were allowed to live, then their evil sinful practices would be allowed to seep into the practices of God’s Holy people, and they would eventually be indistinguishable from the rest of the world and its evil practices. Either reject the entire bible and do as you please, or accept all of the bible as God’s Word and follow the Word of God. Revelation 3:15-16 “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.
Third, the attitude which I believe is the attitude of this video, and therefore seems to be your attitude by association (I could be wrong, and if so please correct me, but as many times as you have referred to this video in response to the comments of other people I thought this to be your attitude as well) is one that dismisses the old testament and not being relevant now that Jesus has come as a sacrifice for our sins, and risen from the dead to conquer sin and death. I will agree that there are some rules that God had for the Hebrew People such as not eating unclean animals, and other such rules, that no longer apply, but that doesn’t mean that God all of a sudden no longer thinks that something that is an abomination to the sanctity of marriage is now acceptable. Why did God give the command that a man and a woman shall be united as one in marriage in the first place? I believe it is to fulfill the command in Genesis 1:28 where “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” You cannot be in a homosexual relationship and have children. (children of your own that is, I know it is possible for homosexuals to adopt) I also feel it is to be a picture of our relationship with Jesus, our Bridegroom. When Jesus came to earth to die for us, he left his Father (God) and came to be united to his Bride, (the Church) He died for us, sacrificed himself to sanctify us for himself, and he gave us a promise of his return to us (Holy Spirit). Ephesians 5:23-32 paints this picture.
I am not here to tell you how you should live or what you should do. You have free will just as I do. I am here though to say that to claim you are a Christian, you should live as God commands. Does this mean that everyone who is a Christian is perfect? BY NO MEANS! everyone sins. Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Ecclesiastes 7:20 “There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.” But this does not mean that we should willfully disobey God. We should all be striving toward the perfection that Christ Jesus accomplished. This does not mean that we will be perfect, but that we should strive to live as Christ did. I believe this means loving our fellow man, regardless of his sins or imperfections. I do not hate you, nor do I think you should be persecuted, or insulted or condemned by man. Judgment is God’s alone. Persecution, especially hate crimes, are committed by people who are afraid of what they do not know. I don’t think that you are a horrible person. I know that God loves you every bit as much as he loves me, and every bit as much as he loves every single one of his children. but I do not however believe that this means that he condones or likes our sin. Hitler committed very egregious acts against all kinds of minorities, but I still believe that Jesus loved him, and if he would have only turned away from the sins he had committed, and believed that Jesus was the son of God, and that Jesus died for his sins, I believe God would have given Hitler Salvation. I committed many horrendous and sinful acts before I turned my life over to Christ, such as cheating on my girlfriend for three years with my best friends wife. I was abusive verbally (and a little bit physically when I would pin her down) to her when I would get drunk every night. When I was 18 I broke up with a girl by telling her that I was going to my life back over to Christ (Which I had no intention of doing) and proceeded to go back to her a month later and told her we could get back together just so I could have sex with her, never to talk to her again. (This sin grieves me much because of how horrendously I defamed the name of Christ to her.) But when I did turn my life over to Jesus, he gave me a new heart, replacing my old heart of stone with a heart of flesh, and I could no longer live in the sin that I used to. I could no longer have premarital sex, I could no longer get drunk and high every night. I could no longer speak abusively towards others. Not because if I did I was breaking the rules (which I certainly was doing) But because it grieved my heart and the Holy Spirit who dwelt inside of me. Christianity is not about keeping a set of rules, and if you keep them faithfully enough you can go to heaven. NO SIR! Christianity is about a relationship with Jesus Christ, in which we fall face down at the feet of Christ because we are not worthy of his Sacrifice, and believing that he did indeed die for the sins of the world, and that if we believe on him, we will be saved. We are saved by grace, not by works. Nothing you or I can do will save us, it is only by the grace of God, who as John 3:16-17 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” Jesus accepts you as you are, but he does not expect you to continue in the sins of your past. Sometimes it is too hard for us to give up our sinful nature, but we must trust in Jesus that he will redeem us. Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
You are absolutely right that God loves you wholeheartedly, but you are wrong to think that he will accept you directly and willfully disobeying the Word of God. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. If it says in his word that Homosexuality is detestable to the LORD, then it is still detestable to Him. Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Just because some of the practices of the old testament are obsolete because we no longer allow slavery, or we have antiseptics to cleanse ourselves when we touch things with germs on them, other parts such as the ten commandments (which includes the commandment to Sabbath) and Leviticus 18:22 which states that God finds homosexuality to be detestable, are still God’s commands to us and his word for us.
On a somewhat non biblical line, I find homosexuality to be detestable because it is all about selfish pleasure, not the union and ultimate expression of love for your wife. When a man and a woman come together in sexual union, in the safety and sanctity of marriage, they are embracing and uniting with one another face to face. They lock eyes as they embrace in the union of sex. They embrace and (hopefully) climax in such a joyous and wonderful pleasure that is so powerful and God ordained that it has the power to create new life! No other natural act (note I said natural act, I know test tube babies and artificial insemination are possible) has the power to create new life! to take that act and use it simply to “get off”, for ones own selfish pleasure is detestable whether it is between a man and a woman who are not married or between two men or two women, sex outside of God sanctioned marriage is wrong and detestable to the LORD. 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”
I don’t think I know everything, nor do I fully understand the ways of the LORD. I am a simple man with only a GED, but one who likes to express myself through words, and I know that this is an extremely long “Comment” but I felt it necessary for me to fully express my feelings and thoughts. I hope some of this has gotten through to you. I will be adding you to my prayers that God may bless you and be the driving force in your life. Philippians 2:1-4 says:If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
1 Corinthians 8:9 says “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.”
We should put the needs of others before our own selfish pleasure. I am not perfect and I stumble and fall. Praise be to Jesus for dying so that we may live and have forgiveness of our sins! I am not the ultimate authority, God Almighty is. If he says something is wrong, then I believe him. Remember, we are here to spread the good news of Jesus, not to fulfill our own selfish pleasure. We should be seeking to make obeying God our ultimate pleasure.
Romans 12:9 “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”
I pray you will find your peace and joy in obeying Christ. Seek truth, for as John 8:32 says: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
with Love,
Derek J. Brent,
servant of Christ
Hello Derek,
Welcome back brother! I read your comment and yes, I read it twice as well. Thanks for all the biblical quotes. I understand all of them and have read them more than twice myself.
I understand your position and that you’re trying to do (at least from your point of view) of what you believe a Christian should do. That is to enlighten anyone whom you believe is treading the wrong path.
Yes, I have referenced many to that Youtube video of – Yes, a fake president and a fake Dr. Jacobs. What isn’t fake about that scene are the biblical verses similar to what you have quoted me. They came straight from the same bible you’ve quoted. Nothing is fake about that.
I am not here to dismiss your beliefs and if you strongly believe in them, and it makes you a better person – so be it.
I had to struggle with my sexuality and my faith in the same way that many others do. The fortunate thing for me is that I found that one true meaning of reconciling both – and it rings one word to me – it’s LOVE.
Let me just quote you the one and only rule I go by – Matthew 22:36-37. One of the Pharisees asked Jesus a question to test him, “Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?” To which Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. That is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. ALL the LAW and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
I believe that when the time comes that you are to face God – he will not ask you how much law you have obeyed. He will not ask you how many verses in the bible you’ve memorized. He will not ask you how many people you’ve told that they are wrong and you are right. He will ask you one thing and one thing only – - HOW MUCH DID YOU LOVE THEM?
Here’s a quick lesson on Sodom and Gomorrah researched and written by a heterosexual Christian.
God bless and Happy Easter!
gaychristians
Hello Derek,
I read how you were considering writing a “gay Christian” novel. They are difficult to come by, for sure. Most gay lit is not too kind to Christian perspectives, anymore than Christian-themed novels are kind to gays. Gay Christians seem to be stuck in the middle. I came across a novel that you might be interested in. It’s about a man who falls in love with an Amish guy. It’s very pro-Christian, has lots of references to living a Christian lifestyle AND being gay. The characters are very good men who seek monogamy and love. Here is a link to the publisher’s website:
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_419
You sure are a lousy servant of Christ when you’re repelling gay people from Christ Dereck. Are you doing God’s work or what you THINK God wants you to do? Quoting Scripture is fine, but when you use those Scriptures against individuals when those scriptures never had those individuals in mind, you are bringing reproach to the Name of God and becoming a stumbling block to these people finding Salvation. I won’t even respond to the hack eyed diatribe you posted with what you find “detestable” in your own opinion, I will post a link though to what I wrote in response to someone who at least tries to justify his nonesense with a working knowledge of Scripture:
http://aholeboyfriend.blogspot.com/search/label/the%20bible%20and%20homosexual%20practice
Hell is paved with good intentions Dereck, and you seem to have a ton of them.