Jan 20 2008
It’s probably just guilt.
It’s been over for almost six months now. I don’t know if I’m feeling lonely or feeling guilty but the reason for my breakup with my boyfriend was something minimal. It’s not like I cheated or he cheated. There’s not even a third party. I just feel that I didn’t give enough to the relationship that pushed my ex-boyfriend away.
I look back and I wondered - was I fair? Did I put my friends over and above him? Maybe I did. Ever since we got together, I laid down the rules. My friends supported my for almost six years while I was without a relationship. They were there when I needed something. Be it a ride to the airport or just companionship when I felt lonely. They made me laugh and they made me cry. But all the same, they became family to me.
The main argument that we always had was about my friends. I was hanging out a little too much with them and whenever he’s here at my house, friends will drop by not giving us enough time with each other. But I enjoyed the company of my friends. It doesn’t necessarily mean I didn’t enjoy his company. Over all, I may have missed the mark. Maybe I should have told my friends to back off for a while…or I should have done it myself.
Needless to say, the milk is sour and I can’t do anything about it now. Would I do the same with my next relationship? I hope not. That is if ever I go into another relationship.
