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People always wonder how they would feel if they run into their ex at any given situation.  Admittedly, I was a bit nervous because we haven’t seen each other in about six months I would say.  The last time I saw him was when my dog died.  He loved Simba very much as well since Simba was our first dog before he got Kovu.  It was very nice of him to drive down to console me after our break-up.

Anyway, the meeting was nothing like I expected.  I was more nervous about the teasing that would happen from my friends who were present at the party but none of that happened.  “Thank God!”

We talked, we laughed like the good old days.  It seems like we never separated.  Kinda weird huh?  After the party, he sent me an email for a doggie day meeting for his dog to meet my new dog, Jake.

I am open to anything at this time and it wouldn’t surprise me if one day we’ll get back together.  There are just too many things going on in my life right now that I can’t focus on a relationship.  It would be both unfair for him and for me.  But — we shall see.

Hope everyone is having a great week!

I got a call from a friend today. He was asking me if I’ve heard of the third secret of Fatima and its predictions for 2010. He got it from an email chain letter that was sent to him by a friend. You may not know this but I am a devotee of the Blessed Mother. I used to go to church on Wednesdays to attend mass in honor of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. I still and will always hold the Blessed Mother dear to my heart. I’ve seen many miracles through her intercession.

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I am just appalled about the news I’m hearing about cancer.  It has really affected me recently because so many people in the public eye have died from it in recent months and now I’m hearing about dear friends or friends of our family that is either diagnosed or dying from cancer.

What is going on?  Cancer has been around as long as I have lived and no one has really found a cure for it.  It has been hanging out there like diabetes.  Is there enough research being done to battle cancer?  My dad died from lung cancer, my sister was diagnosed (and has been in remission - thank God!)  with breast cancer.

Are we not doing enough?  What can we do to find a cure?

It may be the age that I’m at. We are at the stage where we hear a lot of deaths, sickness, health issues. Joey is a good friend of mine and his father recently passed. I had no words of comfort for Joey because when my father passed, I didn’t feel anything. My father and I had been away from each other for a while and when we had the time to reconnect - we were given only a very brief moment. We had one year - then he became ill and passed.

All I could do was listen. I listened to Joey as he suddenly felt the pain of losing his dad. I felt it with him. In as much as my father and I didn’t have the chance to become close to each other, I knew in my heart of hearts that he loved me. Joey feels the same about his father. They have been away from each other for over twenty years.

This morning, I received a call from Joey and he told me about a video from GodTube.com that he received from his friends via email. He cried his heart out.

I just watched it a few minutes ago and my eyes are still bulging from the tears…read the story first and then watch the video….inspiring father and son story - what a day it will be, when we have run the race and finally meet Jesus face to face…

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When I arrived from overseas, I was so jetlagged.  My friends picked me up from the airport and of course, I can’t just say - “Hey, thanks!” and have them leave me at home so I could rest.  I wanted to treat them for dinner for their time at least.

Even though I wasn’t feeling too well because I got the cold the day before I left Germany, I ordered in and we all had dinner together.  By 10:00 p.m., I was really exhausted.  I wanted to lay down and just sleep. (Oh and by the way, there was a kid in the cabin during the flight who did nothing but cry - the entire flight!!!  I wasn’t able to even take a short nap).

I am still trying to get over the jetlag - - hopefully it will be soon.

I waited for this movie to come out… I had it on my queue for the last three months so that I could watch it and feel sappy again..

I’ll give the movie three stars.. not all that great but it did what I wanted it to do.

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for four years. We had lots of laughs, madness, craziness and the like. We loved each other. But sometimes, things happen. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t mine. It just wasn’t meant to be.

Somehow, after watching this movie - I felt as if he was the ONE. The ONE who got away. My pooh loved me more than he loved himself. Maybe that was my issue. He cared for me and took care of me. So, what’s the problem?

I have always thought that I am incapable of falling in love with the right person. I fall in love with the heart-breakers, the cheaters, the jerks. Why do we want people who treat us unfairly? Why is it that when you have someone who really cares for you - you let go?

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I went to church today after missing approximately seven weeks. It felt good. I am so glad that I made the effort to go as I was tempted to miss mass again for the 8th week. It was refreshing to say the least.

As usual, while in church my mind wandered. I always try to bring my thoughts back to the homily whenever I notice that my mind is wandering somewhere. When I was finally able to focus, I asked forgiveness for my weaknesses, selfishness and most of all - my pride. There are so many people whom I have wronged. Some unintentionally, and some - uhmmmmm probably intentional. It’s human nature to be upset, to boast, to be greedy. It doesn’t mean it’s right.

I remember a time when I yearned to pray. I would lock my doors and prostrate myself inside my room and think nothing but my communication with God. That was a while ago. The fire burning inside me is no longer there. I keep reminding myself that the fire may no longer be there, but the pilot lamp is still lit. It never ever goes out.

I have praises to sing, prayers to say, and love to give. I need to forget about me. I need to share my life with others. I have been so blessed to find that the God I know loves me unconditionally. There are no ifs, ands, or buts. He simply loves me for who I am.

I prayed for my manager at work who was let go last Thursday. There weren’t any reason (valid ones) why they would have let him go. He is such a great person, and a great manager at that. Brian - don’t worry - God is watching you.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend and I hope that everyone was able to share joy and laughter to the people around you.

God bless and have a great week!

I received quite a bible-thumping, point-to-the-bible-verse-about-homosexuality email from someone and asked me to stop this blog. He says that I am being deceived by the devil and that no one should live this lifestyle. He also tells me that God loves me but if I continue with this lifestyle, I will be forever condemned to hell.

If he met me a few years ago, before I realize how God’s love knows no bounds - I would have believed him. I would have deleted this blog and lived in guilt and shame. I probably would have gone to confession multiple times and washed myself with holy water.

But that is not me today. Today, I am a grown man with the knowledge of what God’s love is. I am a grown man, who knows that God will not open the gates of heaven for me for anything else but one reason - how I loved my brothers. That is the only thing that I believe in and no matter what happens, I will cling to that. I could memorize all the verses of the bible, I could sing wondrous praises and even preach with my own tongue - - but without the LOVE God has intended for me to share with others - - all of those mean nothing.

So, I therefore pray that you will realize why this blog exists and why I intend to share what I know about God. There is only one God I know and the God I know has made a way for me to realize that he will only measure one thing about me, and one thing only. “How much did I love my fellowmen?”

God bless.

My nephew has a dream. He would like someday to become a Police Officer. I told him, with the right attitude and conduct - it shouldn’t be impossible for him. He already knows how to handle guns from his dad. They both have licensed guns that they use for target shooting. They usually go target shooting at least once a month. It’s a good bonding thing I suppose. I wished I had that kind of time with my dad.

So, on his upcoming birthday, I was thinking of getting him a Blackhawk Holster. It’s probably going to look cool on him and he will probably brag about it too. The price is reasonable as well so maybe he’ll find a pleasure on a good deal that I’m getting. We’ll see.

You know what? In our lifestyle, there are many things that we go through before we reach the calmness and acceptance that most of us find, if not all - sometimes earlier than usual for a few of us and sometimes a little later. But there are a few folks that couldn’t easily deal with accepting the beauty in who they are. Or maybe, it is the outside force - like their parents or fear of losing their status within the community - that they continue to hide from the truth. Some of them even rely on drugs to keep them from facing reality. And that hurts most of us deeply.

I saw a lot of them at the clubs in New York. It may have been the things that was said to them while growing up, or the negative tones about homosexuality that they hear from almost everyone. It isn’t too late. You can still get back on track. Life has full of wonderful things to offer and there are many folks out there now that accept us for who we are. There is a Drug Treatment Center in almost every town, every state. You can always get help and we encourage you to do so. Do not be discouraged. You are loved for who you are.

Peace.