I believe that I’ve written about this before. I grew up knowing that I am a homosexual even before I knew what the word meant. Coming from a brood of 10 children, it was more likely for a family of that size to have at least one homosexual person… and that person is me.
When I started feeling this way, I remember looking up the word homosexual from those huge Encyclopaedia Britannica books (if you remember them, it kinda ages us a bit. LOL). I tried to understand why people fall in love (or lust) after the same sex. I was confused.
I carried that confusion all the way through college. It was something that I couldn’t grasp. My uber-religious backgroud based on Christianity even made me feel worse. It was supposed to be a sin and something that I shouldn’t be feeling. But I did.
That would take me years before I meet someone who explained it to me in real terms. In religious terms. I cannot find that person anymore, but he was the most beautiful creature to me. He was able to make me see that God loves me for who I am. And through him, God manifested Himself to make me understand that I am God’s project.
Take a look at this video and tell me what you think.
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I was young. I remember looking up the word “homosexual” from the Encyclopaedia Britannica. I wanted to understand what it is and why it is. The description provided little for me to understand. All I remember is that it gave the history of homosexuality from the Ancient Greeks to the present time. It is a sexual attraction to the same sex.
Of course, I already knew that! I was probably seven years of age when I first knew I was attracted to men. It didn’t have any malice at that time. I just like looking at beautiful men. My brother’s friends were my first crushes.
I came from a very religious family. A family that went to church every Sunday. We would go and eat out afterwards to spend time with my brothers and sisters. My parents were members of Catholic Organizations such as the Christian Family Movement, Cursillo, and my dad was a Grand Knight at the Knights of Columbus. I always remember being surrounded by nuns and priests during their visit at our home. My mom used to take me along with her on Wednesdays to attend the Novena to Our Mother of Perpetual Help. I loved being there. I enjoyed being inside the church, watching the tealight candles burn. I always looked up at the big crucified Christ on the cross with blood running down his forehead, hands and feet nailed to the cross. I liked the church.
To be continuedâ€¦